


I'll Get By (As Long As I Have You)

by snowflakesandsunflowers



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Original Character(s), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:40:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26242807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowflakesandsunflowers/pseuds/snowflakesandsunflowers
Summary: Peggy was not the only Carter in Steve Rogers' life. Her younger sister Lillian, a nurse in the Queen Alexandra's Royal Imperial Military Nursing Service, is alongside Steve from the very beginning of his new journey.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. I'll Get By

The Carter sisters were inseparable as children. Born only 10 months apart, Margaret ‘Peggy’ Carter and her little sister Lillian didn’t really understand what it was to live life without the other in it. They shared everything from bedrooms to jewelry and all the things in between. Joining the big fight after their beloved older brother died was no exception.

While Peggy joined the fight on the intelligence side, Lillie served as a nurse in the Queen Alexandra’s Imperial Military Nursing Service. Although they hated being apart from each other, both girls kept in constant contact, always writing and sending letters. One afternoon, however, Lillie received a letter from her older sister stating that Peggy was no longer going to be working as a code breaker, but had new orders. It was only a day later that Lillie herself got new orders that pulled her from the European continent, to the bustling and dazzling city of New York.

“Lillie!” The normally reserved Peggy cried, throwing her arms around her sister. Lillie blushed, wondering if her sister forgot where they were at and who they were surrounded by. A few passing officers curiously looked at the sisters embracing, but no one said anything.

“Peg!” Lillie responded in excitement. “I didn’t know you were going to be here too!” The older Carter girl smiled and squeezed her sister's hand before stepping away. Her calm and collected mask fell back over her face.

“Well, I am why you’re here. I’ve actually been here for awhile now, but an opportunity came up and I knew you would be the perfect fit for the job.”

“What is the job, exactly?”Lillie had not been told anything other than when and where to be.

Before Peggy could answer her sister, a heavily accented voice came from behind them. “That is classified.” Both the sister’s turned around. Lillie saw that her sister’s spine straightened almost as if she were about to snap into a salute. “Agent Carter.” The man nodded to Peggy. “Lieutenant Carter.” Lillian was stunned. Her rank in the Nursing Service was Sister, equal to that of Lieutenant. It felt odd being addressed as such, but she liked it. Dr. Erskine seemed to have a playful mischief about him.

“Lillian, this is Dr. Abraham Erskine.” The doctor was short, with wiry hair and kind eyes. “Dr. Abraham, you may already know about Sister Carter based on her file, but let me introduce you to my dear sister, Lillian.” Dr. Erskine smiled.

“This conversation would probably be best if it was not overheard. Let us go to my office, yes?” And with that he turned on his heel and began walking towards a narrow hallway. Peggy waited for Lillian to pass. It did not take long for them to arrive and get situated in their seats. Dr. Erskine took a file out of a drawer and held it tightly in his hands. “Let me preface this, with how important this file is. Here, we could have the very turning point of the war.”

While Peggy did not say anything, Lillian could see the fire in her sister's eyes, which looked so much like her own. She could see that this was something Peggy was excited and proud of.

“Is that why it is classified?” 

“Yes. We do not want what’s in here getting into the hands of the wrong people.” The doctor handed the file over to her. Lillian could not stop her hands from shaking as they opened the file. How was she, a nurse, involved in this? What did Peggy get her into? “In your hands is what we call Project Rebirth.” As he talked, she began to look over the pages. “I have developed a serum that will create the perfect soldier.”

“You’re creating a whole new army?” If this worked, they would win the war. Hitler and Nazi’s would be gone.

“That’s the hope.” Peggy replied.

“Why do you need me though? I-I’m just a nurse.” Peggy rolled her eyes as Lillian’s comment.

“We need a nurse. We need someone on our team to help us keep up with the ends and outs of the medical information of the first few subjects that undergo the treatment.” It felt wrong, to Lillie, to refer to humans as a subject. “When I suggested this to our team, Agent Carter here said she knew the perfect nurse for the job.”

“Perfect…” Lillie scoffed, eyeing her sister. “I don’t know about that.”

“Well, the good thing is that you don’t get to determine that one. We do, and we chose you.” The nurse looked back down at the file again, reading each word carefully.

“Have you tested the serum yet?” She was thinking that maybe there was an animal, somewhere out there with these super soldier abilities that were listed as possiblities on the pages in her lap.

“No. We...We’re looking for the perfect soldier for that.” With the words that left her sister’s mouth, Lillian’s head snapped up. “What?” Peggy could see the fierce worry on the younger girl's face.

“You can’t do that.” Lillian’s eyes traveled from Peggy to Dr. Erskine who was sitting, arms crossed, watching her intently. “That’s not safe.” Peggy was about to say something else, but the German man interrupted her.

“Continue, Lieutenant.” Lillie had a feeling that this rank he’d given her was going to stick around for a while.

“You can’t test it on a man before you test it on a real test subject first.” Her voice was firm as she spoke. Nothing could change her mind.

“I don’t think we will get the results we are looking for if we just choose some vermin off the street.” Peggy retorted. Dr. Erskine nodded in agreement. “We will just do one soldier first and if it works, we will be as good as gold.” There was a pregnant pause as Lillian tried to collect all her thoughts.

“Then test it on me.” The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, after she spoke.

“Absolutely not!” Her sister yelled, standing up. “Dr. Erskine, tell her this is a ridiculous thought. She’s not a soldier!” The man kept quiet, staring at Lillian, looking deep in thought.

“You’re right. I’m not. I’m just a nurse, which makes me perfect for this! I’ll be able to monitor the systems directly. There would be no trying to decide if a war-hungry soldier is lying just so he can punch Hitler in the face! There would be no wasting a soldier that we desperately need.” 

“But we need nurses too!” Peggy argued..

“Not if we had an army of super soldiers.” If there was an army of super soldiers, certainly there would not be a large need for nurses. Based on the file, with the enhancements to speed, strength, and durability, there was a possibility these soldiers could be nearly indestructible. 

“You certainly present a good point...Why don’t you take the night to think on this and we will reconvene tomorrow morning. Allow this time to give you some insight and some clarity.” Lillian nodded as Peggy abruptly left the room without a word.

“I really think it would be best if I tested the serum. That way we are protecting the men and not wasting it on an animal. At worst, I gave my life for a worthy cause...At best, we have an enhanced nurse on the field. I don’t see a problem with that, do you?” Deep down in her bones, Lillie knew she had to do this. It was almost as if it was a newfound life calling.

“Like I said, Lieutenant Carter, think about it. We’ll talk again in the morning.”

Lillian smiled at the doctor and then left the room to track her sister down. It didn’t take too long to find Peggy and once she did, Lillian pulled her outside for a walk around the block.

“Lillie, you seriously cannot be considering this.” Peggy’s arms were tightly crossed over her chest. Anger and frustration was rolling off of her in waves.

“Peg, I have to do this. Think about it...If this serum works we could change the world!” Lillie’s hands moved around frantically as she tried to demonstrate how big of a change it would be.

“But what if it doesn’t work? Have you thought about that?”

“Yes, and I think it would be worth the cost. It’s wartime, sister. Sacrifices must be made.” Lillie looked up at her sister, trying to convey her passion through a smile.

“I already lost one sibling. Please don’t make me lose another!” Peggy was begging now. Lillian understood her pain. She would probably be reacting just as her sister was if Peggy was the one deciding to do this.

“Peggy, I have to do this. I-I can’t explain to you, but I feel like it’s my destiny.” The taller girl’s eyes softened as her sister spoke these passionate words. “And, don’t you trust Dr. Erskine? I’m sure he’s done a phenomenal job on this serum.”

Three weeks later Lillie was injected with the serum. After it had done it’s work she felt more alive than ever. The colors seemed brighter. Her lungs seemed clearer. She even felt a little taller. Peggy was relieved when she told her that she felt fine, but only seconds later her head felt fuzzy and there was an ominous tingle running up and down her spine.

“Something’s wrong.” Lillie spoke right before her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she collapsed on the ground.


	2. As Long As I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve meets an interesting doctor and a kind nurse.

Steve Rogers was not the type of man to give up. He just couldn’t. Not when the recruitment officers told him no. Not when bullies beat him up in back allies. Not when his best friend, his brother, tried to knock some sense into his punk brain. The image of Uncle Sam, tall and looming, with a finger pointed out was imprinted on the back of his eyelids. Always there anytime he closed them.

Except this time, as he closed his eyes, trying to shove his shoes back on his feet, that image wasn’t there because he finally had his chance. This man, this Dr. Erskine, was giving him the chance and he didn’t know why. 

“Only a chance.” He said, throwing the curtain back and walking out. 

“I’ll take it.” Steve replied, taking in a deep breath. The doctor walked over to a desk, putting his file in the hands of a short brunette woman that seemed only a few inches taller than he was. Her uniform looked like that of a nurse, but slightly different. Instead of being stark white she was wearing a khaki colored dress, belted. 

“Mr. Rogers, this is Lieutenant Carter. She is going to take some blood and finish up your paperwork.”

“Lieutenant?” Steve questioned.

“Not really,” The woman replied. Her voice, although soft and sweet sounding, held so much authority. It was also accented. This Lieutenant Carter was English. “I am a Sister in Queen Alexandra’s Imperial Military Nursing Services. I know,” She began as Steve stared at her as she rattled off her organization's name. “It’s a long name.” He nodded. “My rank is similar to that of a Lieutenant and Dr. Erskine insists on addressing me as such.”

“Thats...Nice?” Steve said, shrugging. Lieutenant Carter laughed and he decided he liked the sound of it.

“Sure.” Her brown eyes rolled. “Except now it’s caught on and most everyone calls me Lieutenant. You don’t have to call me that, though. You can just call me Lillian.” Lillian. Her name fit her perfectly. The woman opened his file and took a moment to read it. “Alright Steve Rogers, where are you from?”

“Brooklyn.” He responded without hesitation. Nodding, she jotted that down in his file.

“Okay now, let’s get a blood sample.” Lillian picked up a basket that was sitting on the desk and walked into the curtained room right next to the one he previously exited. Steve eyed the medical supplies in her basket as he took his seat on the table. “Afraid of needles?”

He laughed. “You’ve seen my file. I’ve been poked and prodded my whole life.”  
“Then you know the drill.” She offered him a warm smile. “Shirt off.” He did know, and for some reason, the thought of even partially undressing in front of this dame made him anxious. The small man took a big breath and let his suspenders fall off his shoulders. Unbuttoning his shirt came next and once he was finished with that he let that fall back on the table alongside his suspenders. “Great, now give me just a moment. This may hurt. “She said with a quick wink and grin full of teeth. 

It took a few moments for her to find a proper vein, but once she did the needle was stuck in his arm before he even had the chance to blink. They were both quiet as she collected what she needed. Lillian’s eyes were trained on her work. Steve’s eyes were trained on Lillian. There were freckles on her nose and a scar on her temple. Once she was finished, she looked up and Steve quickly looked at his shoes, trying to act as though he hadn’t been staring. Her fingers were soft on his skin as she wiped the blood away and bandaged his arm. 

“Why do you want to do this, so badly Steve?” She asked as she began to clean up her work. He had been in the process of fixing his state of dress, but paused to let her question wash over him.

“I want to do what is right.”

“But, there are others to help with the cause. You know this right?” Her tone of voice was very matter of fact. It caused a bit of annoyance to flare up in his gut.

“I refuse to sit in a factory, Lieutenant Carter.” He shook his head in frustration as he began to button his shirt. “I cannot do it. I feel as though I am unable to do it. It’s as though my body is physically incapable of that.”

“Most people would say that about you joining the army, Mr. Rogers.” Lillian’s words were honest. Not harsh or unkind...Just honest.

“Lieutenant, have you ever felt so strongly about something in your life? That you had a calling you couldn’t ignore?” Steve watched as Lillian paused what she was doing to consider what he said. One of her hands drifted up to her hair, her fingers pausing at her scarred temple. 

“I understand completely, Mr. Rogers.”

“Steve.” He slipped his suspenders back into their places. “Please call me Steve.”

“Well, Steve,” Lillian picked up her basket. “We are all finished here. I’ll take your blood and your file back to Dr. Erskine so he can put his stamp of approval on it. Come on.” Quickly she walked out the little room and past the desk they were previously at.

“How did you get your scar?” He asked before he could even try to stop himself. The nurse stopped dead in her tracks, but didn’t turn to look at him. Her shoulders were tense at his question.

“I uh...I fell. About eight months ago. My body reacted poorly to...To a shot that I had gotten. Caused me faint and I hit my head on something sharp on the way down.” Something in her tone of voice told Steve that there was more to this story than she was letting on, but he decided against pushing forward. Although he was not as suave as Bucky when it came to women, Steve thought he was pretty decent at understanding humans at their core.

“I have a pretty awful scar too. It’s on my knee. I got when I tripped and fell a few years ago.” He wasn’t sure what made him decide that was similar enough to her story that he thought he needed to share; thought that it would provide her comfort. Lieutenant Carter didn’t seem to mind though because she looked back at him with an amused smile on her face. She didn’t say anything and continued on her path. Once she came to a door, she knocked softly. Steve heard the voice of Dr. Erskine welcoming them in, followed by Lillian opening the door.

“Got everything you needed?” The German native asked the brunette. She nodded, handing him the file that held the one thing Steve wanted in life. “Great.” Erskine picked up a large stamp that was on his desk, opened the file, and pressed the stamp on the paper.”

“Mr. Rogers, this is for you. Remember this is your chance.” Steve nodded and he grabbed the folder that was being held out for him.

“I will. I will remember.” As if he could ever forget. The stamp on there was 1A, the highest draft classification. This means he was ready, at this very moment to report for training. It was odd not seeing the 4H in that box, but he would not let that ruin the moment for him. “Thank you so much, Dr. Erskine.”

“Do not thank me yet, Mr. Rogers.” Dr. Erskine sounded slightly bashful. “There is still a road ahead of you, young man.” Steve gave his head a nod and then said his goodbyes to both Dr. Erskine and Lieutenant Carter.

He was almost out of the recruitment center when his name was called out. Turning around, he saw Lieutenant Carter rushing towards him, arm stretched out. When she got close to him, she placed a hand on his shoulder.

“It sounds odd to say congratulations to someone who is about to go train for war, but congratulations Steve.” She was right, it did sound odd, but Steve felt encouraged by her words. This was what he wanted. This was his calling.

“Thank you, Lieutenant Carter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy this chapter! I do plan on going back and forth between Lillian and Steve. It's much easier for me to tell a love story from both points of view. Please let me know what you think!


	3. Have You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lillian makes some observations about Steve Rogers.

“You know, I think the men here are quite in love with you, sister.” Lillian said to Peggy with a smirk. The older Carter girl just shook her head. Rarely were they able to spend time together, doing what sisters normally do.

“I do not think that ‘in love’ is the right word to describe it.” The sisters were sitting at a small table, a kettle of tea between them. Lillie reached for the milk. 

“Possibly, but you cannot deny that they, at least, fancy you.” As Lillie took a sip of her tea she grimaced. It was weak. There were a lot of awful things about the war and Lillie decided that tea being rationed was one of them. It was the equivalent of drinking lukewarm water.

“I took a little ride with Steven Rogers a few days ago.” Lillie’s eyebrows raised as her sister brought the small man up, changing the subject. Lillie herself had only seen a handful of times. For the most part their interaction had been brief; just enough time for her to check his vital signs as he trained, and even then those moments were quick. Hello’s and how are you’s were exchanged and that was the extent of it. Steve was a man that did not know how to handle himself around women. “He’s quite witty. What he lacks in strength, I think he makes up for in heart...And intelligence.”

“I guess that’s true.” The younger of the two thought back to how many times this man tried to lie his way into the war. “I’m just worried the serum won’t make him that much stronger.” Lillie thought on the serum that was now pumping through her veins. Sure, she could lift heavier things than before, but going to war? Winning the war? Giving Hitler a swift kick to the groin? She couldn’t do that. “Look at me, Peg. What if that were to happen to him? All the serum gave me was a seizure and maybe a few new muscles.”

“You forgot your hair is also shiner and your eyes are brighter...Oh, and your spectacular healing abilities.” Peggy joked, trying to lighten the mood between them. Lillian looked over her shoulder and she shushed her sister. That information was something that was not common knowledge. “That was the purpose of you testing the serum in the first place. Dr. Erskine has made some changes so the parts that we want to happen will and the things we don’t want, won’t.”

And it was as if he was summoned just by Peggy mentioning his name. Dr. Erskine entered the tent, an apprehensive smile on his face. Lillian could not help but smile back at the kind man. She’d really grown to love working with him. There was something about him that reminded Lillian of her father.

“Ladies, sorry to intrude, but it is time that we talk to Colonel Phillips about Mr. Rogers being our chosen candidate.” They were all nervous about this conversation. Colonel Phillips was not too keen on Steve being in his camp. He thought the young man would fail and it would be a waste of time and resources. Obviously, they all disagreed with the man. Lillian took one last sip of her tea, inhaled deeply, and followed Dr. Erskine out. Peggy was not far behind.

While Dr. Erskine and Lillian walked around with Colonel Phillip’s, discussing Steve’s role in the Project Rebirth, Peggy stood behind to drill the men. Lillian watched Steve curiously as she walked away, trying to ignore the look of disbelief and disdain in Phillip’s voice as Dr. Erskine explained that Steve was their chosen candidate.

“Hodge passed every test we gave him.” Lillian would have said she was watching all the men conduct their drills, at that moment it was jumping jacks, but really she was watching Steve. Without a doubt, the small man was struggling. “You win war with guts.” The next thing that happened was the word grenade being yelled out and Steve throwing his body on the ground.

“Get away! Get back!” The tight ball of a man was flailing, trying to protect everyone around him, putting himself at risk. It got quiet for a moment, all eyes on this man on the ground, and Lillian took a few steps forward.

“Steve…”She called out softly. A warm feeling blossomed in her chest as she watched him look up at her, panting, curiosity written plain on his face. He was quite unlike anyone, man or woman, she’d ever encountered.

“Is this a test?” Peggy was smiling beside her and she could hear Colonel Phillips mumble something followed by his heavy footsteps. This confused the soldier even more.

“Steve, we would love to talk with you for a moment.” Lillian held her hand out for him, but he refused to take it, pushing himself up off the ground and for some reason this made Lillie frown.

“Let’s walk away from listening ears.” The ninety-pound, asthmatic (as Colonel Phillips so eloquently put) was taking deep breaths as they walked to a tin covered building, where a set of offices were. Lillian scolded herself for not bringing her stethoscope so she could listen to his lungs. The nurse in her was worried about his current state.

“Steve, we have chosen you, for Project Rebirth.” Steve looked confused at the good doctor's words. As Dr. Erskine explained the specifics to their chosen man, Lillie watched his blue eyes light up as the words of opportunity filled his head. He looked like a child that had been given a puppy. 

“So, I’ll be normal?” He asked. Lillian could not contain the laugh that bubbled past her lips. It was not meant to be mean, but she genuinely found his question funny. It wasn’t Steve’s physical attributes that made him abnormal, but his character. His heart.

“Oh, I doubt that. I don’t know many men, physically capable or not, that would throw themselves on what they think is a live grenade...But, if all goes to plan, you will be one of those physically capable men.” At least, that was the hope. Lillian was beginning to frustrate herself with her inability to move past the what-if’s of the serum. Would they be making a mistake? Would they be costing this man his life?

“I’m honored.” Steve said, in a voice that was much stronger than his body. He looked right at Lillie as he said that, as if she were the only one making that choice. As if she were the only one in the room. “Thank you for taking a chance on me.” Her face was practically on fire with his words and she could not get a coherent sentence out, completely caught off guard by his soft words. 

“W-We can’t make any promises that it will work. There is some risk in doing this, but we can make a promise that we’ll try our hardest to make it work as it should.” Lillie expected the spark in Steve’s eyes to disappear at her words, but it only got brighter. She wasn’t sure she would ever understand this small man with a big heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are doing well and enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know what you think. I love feedback.


	4. Though There Be Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has come.

He was nervous, but he wouldn’t admit that. Sitting with Agent Carter did not make it much better. Steve found himself wishing that her sister was in her place. When he found out the two were related he was both surprised and understood. They shared similar features, such as their eyes, noses, and hair, but there was something so different about them. While both ladies, from what he could tell, were brave and intelligent, Lieutenant Carter was much softer than Agent Carter. Her eyes were kinder. Her smile was warmer. 

When Agent Carter asked him if he knew how to talk to women, he laughed but could feel the warmth rising up his neck to meet his ears. His reply back was true. Steve did not regularly have conversations with women. In fact the only women he really interacted with, after the death of his sweet mother, was Bucky’s mother and sister.

“You must have danced.” There was a tone of disbelief in her voice.

“Well, asking a woman to dance always seemed so terrifying.” Steve was never one to shy away from honesty. “And the past few years, it didn’t seem to matter that much.” There was a war going on. People were dying. “I figured I’d wait.”

“For what?”

“The right partner.” He shrugged. Peggy smiled thoughtfully and didn’t say anything for a moment.

“I think I know where to find you a partner.” Her words were mysterious and her eye’s held a glint of mischief. He had no idea what her words meant, but he had a feeling he shouldn’t argue with a Carter woman.

The rest of the ride was quiet. Steve was in his own head, thinking about all the possibilities of how this process could go. He tried to only dwell on the good thoughts, but he would be lying if he didn’t say he was nervous. What if something went wrong? What if he lost his life? And worst of all...What if it didn’t work?

Agent Carter mentioned something about an umbrella to an older woman which was followed by the woman letting Steve and Peggy behind the counter and leading them down a little room, stacked high with books. The next few moments were a strange blur for Steve. One moment he was staring at all the things hanging on the wall. The next he was following Agent Carter into a room that was cold and institutional. There were people everywhere, including Dr. Erskine and Lillian. She smiled warmly as he approached the two of them.

“Good morning, Mr. Rogers!” Lieutenant Carter was especially chipper. There was a nervousness behind her tone that Steve was somehow able to detect. He appreciated her for at least trying to make him feel normal. As Dr. Erskine began talking to him, running him through the procedure, the brunette woman was getting him out of his shirt and slipping a blood pressure cuff on his arm. Her hands were soft, but cold. He jumped and she laughed.

“Sorry about that.” Steve felt a little self conscious, not only under the eyes of Lillian, but under the eyes of so many strangers. Aside from all the technicians working with Howard Stark, he could see an entire group elevated, behind glass. Dr. Erskine directed Agent Carter to the booth and then began walking everyone through the procedure. Taking a deep and hesitant breath, he climbed onto the table as Lieutenant Carter directed him. “You’ll do great Mr. Rogers.” The brunette began to fit him with the different mechanics of the machine. He kept an eye on her, listening to Dr. Erskine. She was focused on her tasks and because of that her smile was gone and in its place was a nervous frown. 

“Lillian…” She looked up, startled, as if she forgot he was there. “This will be fine.” He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to comfort her, considering it was he who was going through this experiment, but Steve could not stand the look on her face. 

“I didn’t know you even knew my first name Steve.” His ears burned as she brought a large needle up and injected it into his arm.

“That wasn’t so bad.” He commented after the sting was gone. Lillian chuckled.

“That was penicillin.” Dr. Erskine replied back. Steve grimaced at the machine around him began to insert, move, and shake. This was it. This was the end and possibly the beginning. From here on out, if it worked, his entire life would be completely different than the days he lived before.

As the machine began to close around him he looked at Dr. Erskine and Lillian one last time, hoping that the next time he saw them it would be with perfect eyes. His nerves had settled. There was no going back and reversing the process. Once the machine closed he closed his eyes and made a joke about needing to use the restroom.

The next few moments were full of burning pain. He cried out, needing to find a release somehow. He could hear yelling from outside his metal tube, only being able to identify the sweet voice of Lillian Carter.

“Stop it!” She cried out. “Stop it right now, Stark! He’s in pain!”

“No! Don’t!” Steve called out, he was not about to have all his hopes, dreams, and hard work thrown by the wayside just because he was in pain. “I can do this!” He had no choice but to do this. Steve was stubborn. He was not one to back down easily. Pain was not foreign to him. He could do pain...Do it all day if he had to.

And then it was gone, the pain. It was gone and he felt like he’d just run a marathon...A marathon...He could barely run half a mile the week before. As he gulped in air his lungs did not feel cloudy or scream in protest.

The machine began to purr to life again and the doors in front of him hissed open. The air around him felt cool against his skin and Dr. Erskine’s hands felt even colder. Was that man alive? With one arm slung around the good doctor and the other around Howard Stark, he began moving forward.

“Steve!” He looked up at the sound of his name. Lillian Carter was rushing to him with a towel in hand and something else. He didn’t notice what that something else was because all he could focus on was her. His eyesight, though not the worst ailment he had, seemed to be a thousand times better than before. Now every freckle on her slightly upturned nose was waving at him and there were golden flecks sitting around her dilated pupils. “Mr. Rogers,” She said, clearing her throat, almost as if she were correcting herself. You take this, while I check your vitals.” Peggy was now there too, a shirt in her hand.

“For goodness sakes, Lillie, give the man a moment.” Agent Carter handed him the shirt and he put it on quickly, not wanting to distress the other Carter. Lillian still looked quite anxious, even though the serum had done its job. But, before Lillian could respond the sound of an explosion and glass breaking filled the air. 

Steve reached around Lillie and pulled them both to the ground. He reached up to pull Peggy alongside them, everything playing out extremely fast but also entirely slow. As he stood up, Steve heard gunshots and a small gasp beside him.

“Doctor!” Lillian screamed, running to Dr. Erskine who was now on the floor bleeding. As Steve rushed to her side he saw the panic on her face and tears in her eyes. The nurses' hands were shaking as they pressed on the doctors wounds. Dr. Erskine whispered something to her, and then touched his finger to Steve’s chest, right where his heart would be. “Please!” The woman beside him begged as the old man’s eyes closed. The sound of bullets rang out as Steve processed what was going on around him. Without a second thought, he was running up the stairs and after the murderer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted something so soon after just updating. Hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think!


	5. And Darkness Too...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lillian doesn’t know what the future holds for any of them.

He was gone. Dr. Abraham Erskine, the German doctor, the kind older man, was dead. This father figure in Lillian’s life had been murdered. He was not blood, but that did not matter to the young nurse. They’d worked side by side for months and grown close. Dr. Erskine shared memories of his life on the main continent of Europe, the horrors that the Great War left on the land and its people. Told her of his family that was left behind, both dead and alive. In turn Lillian shared about her own life, stories of her childhood, of growing up the youngest of three. She told him of Michael, her dearest brother that moved beyond this life...Lillian wondered if the two knew each other now.

Now Lillie was standing in an examination room in the SSR clinic. This was where she and the good doctor did most of their work. She was currently drawing blood from Steve Rogers. It was the day after he’d been injected with the serum. The man that stood in front of her was both very much the same and very much different that he had been two days before. 

He was much taller now, towering over the small woman, even as he sat. His skin no longer held the flat, pallor color and was now bright with health and life. It was also softer and warm to the touch. His lungs sounded clear, now without all of the fluid. Lillie wondered if he realized just how deeply he was breathing now. He didn’t seem to be aware of the long and deep breaths he would take into his body. Steve was also stronger and she would be a fool not to notice. The serum clearly did something to him that it did not do to her. Although, his wound had not healed as quick as hers tended to. What did Erskine take away from or add to her serum that caused these changes?

There were things that didn’t change though, such as Steve’s overly polite manners and his proclivity for stumbling over his words in front of women. He’d already mumbled a few apologizes to both the Carter’s before he took three steps into the examination room. Steve’s beautiful eyes were still the same, too. Still as blue and clear as ever...And his heart? Well his heart would have been exactly the same, if she wasn’t currently listening to the angry and heartbroken words coming out of his mouth. He’d been shaken by Erskine’s death in the same way she had been.

“Steve.” It was a command. He looked up from the spot on the floor he’d been staring a hole into. Lillian squeezed the arm that she was taking blood from. It was gentle and, she hoped, grounding. “Dr. Erskine would not want you to focus on his death, but more on the life he lived and his great accomplishments. His greatest accomplishment.” As Lillie’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment she caught Peggy turning towards the blinded window, as if she were giving the two some privacy. Mentally Lillian cursed herself for having let her admiration slip through the tiny crack of a well built wall. Those blue, clear eyes were soft and kind as they looked at her. She checked the vile of blood that she’d taken from him, distracting herself.

“You’re right...I just...I wish I could have done something, anything. I couldn’t even bring the bastard who killed him in.” Steve sounded defeated. 

“It wasn’t about your ability to do things, Steve. Your ability to get the bad guy...To have Hitler shaking in his boots. It was never about that for him. It was about helping those who needed help. It was about compassion. It was about using his abilities to change peoples lives.”

“He changed my life.” The words were quiet and sentimental. “I could have never become this. I could have never done my duty. Not without him.” She squeezed his arm again before putting a bit of gauze and tape on the puncture wound from the needle.

“Ohhh, I don’t know. Something tells me you would have eventually found your way across the ocean.” Lillie smirked. “You’re one of a kind Steve.” The small smile she shot back could have powered the entire city. She couldn’t imagine what a real smile would look like on the man.

“She’s right you know.” Peggy commented, stepping into the conversation as Lillie moved to prepare the viles to be sent off for testing. “Any hope of reproducing the program is locked in your genetic code.” Steve moved away from the table he’d been sitting on. “Without Erskine it might take years though.” Peggy’s words were not helping Steve. Lillian narrowed her eyes, hoping that she would understand.

“I wish it didn’t have to be that way.” Lillie’s narrowed eyes turned into a full fledged glare, behind Steve’s back. Peggy avoided the eyes of her sister.

“If it could only work once, he would be proud it was you.” While she knew Peggy’s words were not meant to intentionally hurt, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. As Steve left, Peggy asked him to wait in the waiting room while the sisters finished up. Then she closed the door.

“Sister, I need to apologize.” Lillian just wanted to ignore the words her sister spoke. Hearing the truth coupled with Dr. Erskine’s death were just too much. “I...I” Peggy was hardly ever at a loss for words.

“You don’t need to stay anything. I know you didn’t mean them to hurt me and you weren’t wrong. My test was not a successful one. Steve’s was. I cannot fault you for that.”

“I can still feel bad about how my words hurt you, true or not.” As Lillian tried to tell the oldest Carter girl that she wasn’t hurt, Peggy stopped her. “Don’t put on a brave face and tell me it had no effect on you.” 

“Go onto your meeting, Sister. I have to go deliver these. We need to know all we can about Steve.”

“So, he’s just Steve now? I haven’t heard you call him Mr. Roger’s in awhile.” For the second time in the past ten minutes, Lillian blushed. Then she pat Peggy on the shoulder, grabbing the super soldier’s blood. 

As she dropped off her delivery she couldn’t help but think about Dr. Erskine again. What was her role now that he was gone? Would she be going back to London? Would she stay with the SSR? What about Peggy? And Steve? What did the death of their lovely friend mean for their future? All these questions running through her mind were giving her a headache, though it would be gone before tried to do anything to soothe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think. I enjoy feedback! Hope you have a lovely start of December!


	6. I Won't Complain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve find's that serving his country was not what he thought it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy! Let me know what you think! -- Also, please know that American's were not ignorant to the happenings in Nazi Germany and the anti-Semitic actions that took place. Steve, as well as actual real life Americans, would have known at least some of what all happened was going on. So, Steve mentioning the discrimination in Nazi Germany is not out of place. I know several American's would have you believe the myth that no one knew...But there is historical evidence that they knew. Sorry for the rant, but just felt like it was necessary!

On December 8th, 1941 President Franklin D. Roosevelt declared war on Japan following the attack on Pearl Harbor. Germany and Italy declared war on the United States, cementing their involvement in World War II. Steve remembers that day as if it were yesterday. He remembers looking at the destruction that was the Hawaiian harbor. He remembers there being rage, everything coming to a boiling point. Between the attack at Pearl and the discrimination in Germany, he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to get himself to battle. Someone had to stand up to these bullies that thought they were like gods, playing with human life. He needed to serve his country...Except, the reality of serving his country looked vastly different than he imagined.

What he imagined was being shipped off to the front lines either in the humid pacific or the frigid European continent. He would be armed with a helmet and gun, ready to accept orders and go where he was told. He wanted to let those who were on the side of the Axis know that he was there for one thing and one thing only...To stop the injustices. Unfortunately, that was not what he was doing.

Steve was the best form of advertisement the United State military could hope for...At least, that was what Senator Brandt told him last week when they were in Cincinnati. Between knocking ole Adolf in the Jaw and the USO girls, dancing around him, bond sales were on the rise, but even though he was surrounded by the stage hands and performers way more than he wanted, he still felt alone. There was no Bucky here, his friend off fighting somewhere he didn’t know. There was no hustle and bustle of a city teeming with life. There was no Lillian Carter with her eyes as warm as the sun. 

Instead she was back in England. At least, that is what the envelope that was currently sitting under his thigh said. Steve and Lillian had been conversing, sending letters back and forth for almost a year. She’d become one of Steve’s closest friends and dearest confidents. He told her everything, about his mother he missed, about his want to do more for his country, about how he now became regrettably annoyed whenever he spotted an American flag. He also sent her little drawings from his sketchbook; typically there were of whatever was around him, but sometimes they were of the sun. Steve wondered if she understood the meaning of those particular sketches. In kind she shared memories of her brother, told him of the progress the city of London was making since the bombings happened, encouraged him with brave comments and crude jokes. She also sent drawings of her own, although these looked as though they’d been scribbled by a five-year-old. Each one brought a smile to his face.

It was the day before she was set to leave. Colonel Phillip’s had broken the news to Peggy and Steve first that the SSR was going to be relocating across the ocean and Steve would not be going with him. In the Colonel’s eyes he was just a lab rat. When Steve mentioned this to Lillian she was furious and when she tried to speak up against it she was shot down. In between her grumbling at dinner that night, while Peggy was in the restroom and Howard was flirting with the waitress, Steve asked Lillian if he could write to her. Her frustration was quickly replaced by shock and then a smile. The Lieutenant told him that he was only welcome to write to her if he would allow her response. He didn’t think that either of them understood what all that would entail.

Steve was working on a sketch for her. The subject was the World’s Fair he’d been to the night they met. He doubted that she would understand the significance of it, but knew she would appreciate it nonetheless. Just as he was adding some finishing touches to an area he was shading, a tune popped into his head and he began to hum the melody. Happily he continued moving his pencil across the paper when he realized what tune he was piecing together. It was the song the USO girls sang at his shows. His song. The song he now hated and despised.

“Dammit!” He yelled, throwing his pencil across the room, slamming his book shut. This wasn’t what he signed up for. He knew he should be grateful for this second chance at life, but at that moment he was feeling a little resentful. 

As he sat in his room, aboard the train taking them to the southern part of the US, Steve tried to even out his breathing. It wasn’t often Steve let his anger get the best of him. Typically he was able to let it roll off his shoulders or start a fight in a back alley. But this? This was almost too much. There was no bully in sight and the longer he let this roll off his shoulders, the heavier the weight became. He could carry that weight now, but it wasn’t satisfying. This gig as Captain America was not satisfying. 

“Mr. Rogers?” There was a knock at his door that interrupted his thoughts. Steve didn’t say anything, readying himself to greet the person. Before he could welcome the person in, the door slid open and a small man popped his head inside. “Mr. Rogers?” It was Harry Wilfried, Steve’s appointed personal assistant, or as Steve told Lillian in his letters, his own personal nanny. Harry kept Steve up to date with show times and locations. He always had a pen and notebook in hand, and anytime Steve tried to make a joke it seemed to go right over his head. The man was very serious about his job.

“Yes, Harry?” Hopefully, Steve thought, he didn’t look too out of sorts.

“I’ve gotten some news from Senator Brandt.” Steve looked down at his watch that fit nicely on his left wrist. It was seven ’o’clock in the evening. How could that man find them at this time of night, on a train in the middle of nowhere, all the way from DC? Steve waited for Harry to say something, but he stood there awkwardly looking up at him. 

“What’s the news?” 

“Senator Brandt informed me that after next week's shows we will be taking this tour internationally.” Steve’s brows rose as the small man quickly spoke. Once again, Stevie waited for Harry to continue. When he didn’t Steve cleared his throat.

“What was the push behind this?”  
“They decided that the soldiers need a little morale. A pick me up, so to speak. You’re such a hit here. The soldiers will love you.” Steve was not very optimistic about that, but with the image of Uncle Sam behind his eyes, he just nodded his head. 

“When do we leave?”

“After our show in Orlando, next week. We’ll head back to New York and leave for North Africa.” Steve had never been out of the country before. He’d never even really been out of the state of New York. There were a few trips he took with Bucky’s family to the shore, but those weren’t very common. The whirlwind of this new life caught him off guard. Between shows and meeting diplomats and writing to Lillian he didn’t have much time to fully process it all. Steve dismissed Harry, knowing he had to write to Lillie about this.

He started his letter off by addressing her as Lieutenant. His pencil flew across the paper, words flowing from his brain to his hand with ease. He responded to all the things she mentioned in her letter, and then began to tell her about his happenings. All the while, in the back of his mind, he hoped they would end up somewhere in England. He missed his friend.


	7. I'll Laugh it Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Lillie are reunited.

Lillie had never really experienced a feeling like this before. She was both exhausted and downtrodden, but also completely over the moon. There’d been rumors for a week or so that popular American icon ‘Captain America’ was traveling to different camps across Europe. The prospect of seeing Steve Rogers in the flesh made her giddy, but Lillian was grounded by the harsh reality that was war. She heard the joyful and patriotic sounding music from the triage tent, earlier. She also heard the men booing. It was hard to focus on the man that she knew was somewhere inside this camp, though, when her hands were covered in blood and her feet ached because she was almost certain she hadn’t sat down once in about twelve hours.

“We have another man coming in!” Someone called from the flap of the tent. “Should be here any minute.” Lillian could not stop the tired sigh from leaving her mouth. The physician next to here looked on in pity.

“Carter, go take a breather.” As Lillian tried to fight back, he stopped her holding a hand up. “You look dead on your feet. I don’t want to put you on one of these tables.”

“Just what every woman wants to hear, doctor.” She mumbled, thinking that she was incapable of ending up on one of those tables anytime soon. He rolled his eyes.

“Now, Carter. Wash up and get out of here.” His American accent had a demanding tone. “I don’t want to see you back here until you have some color in your cheeks. Eat something and get a quick nap.”

Lillian did as she was told and went to wash up before heading out of the triage tent, trying to run out of the rain. Before she left she dunked her hands in a bucket of water, scrubbing them as good as she could. Then she dried her hands off on the pinafore that covered her clothes. It was stained greatly. There was no need for crisp white dresses and nylons out here. Instead she was clothed in green. A green button down and green pants which she tucked into her leather boots. The pinafore started out as something she would use to remind herself of her time before the SSR. She was only a nurse at a military hospital in London. It reminded her of all the soldiers she’d seen who came back, not completely whole. It reminded her to push forward for those that needed her help, without complaint.

When she returned to her quarters she traded her pinafore for her trench coat. Instead of bothering to roll her hair back into the tight bun it was earlier in the day she opted for her helmet, hoping that would keep the rain out of her face while she searched the camp for Steve. Lillian knew she should do as the camp physician encouraged, but now that she had fresh air in her lungs that seemed to be the only thing her mind could focus on. 

The raindrops on her skin were cool as she clutched her jacket tighter to her body. At this point the helmet was practically useless, only really keeping the top of her head and face dry. Lillian was not bothered though, only hoping to find Steve. From what she’d gathered, there was still another show planned for the evening, so she knew he hadn’t left. The first place she started looking was near the tents that were barely 50 feet away from the triage tent. Surely, he would be there. Something about the crowd's reaction she could hear while trying to apply gauze to a wound, made her think that Steve would not be found amongst the soldiers.

Lillie let herself into a tent that was full of life and warmth. She found herself amongst more women then she’d be around in months. They were busy chatting with each other and she also hated interrupting their conversation. A few of the women looked at her in confusion when she cleared her throat, while others smiled warmly. 

“Does anyone know where I can find Mr….Does anyone know where I can find Steve?” These women traveled with the man. Surely there was no need to be so overly polite. 

“I saw him out by the stage earlier, poor fella.” A woman with golden yellow hair and lips red as an apple spoke up. “The show this morning was hard. I wouldn’t blame him for wanting to hide.” Lillian suddenly found herself feeling glad she hadn’t been at the earlier show. Before, she was disappointed she couldn’t go support Steve, but now? Now she knew her heart would have hurt watching him struggle.

“Thank you for your help.” The nurse said, bowing her head at the USO girls.

“You know him or somethin’?” One of the ladies asked with a deep drawl that indicated she was from the southern United States.

“Yes, we’re friends and haven’t seen each other quite a while. He’s been touring and well, I’ve been here in Europe.” She shrugged her shoulders and just as she was about to bid her farewell, another woman stopped her with her worlds.

“You’re the gal he’s always writing to aren’t ya?” The room was hotter in that moment than it had been before the words. Lillian’s cheeks were flushed pink. “I always see him writing or drawing during his free time.”

“Lucky girl, you are!” Another lady piped up with a giggle. Lillie’s cheeks were now a red hot. Lillie mumbled another thank you and quickly made her way out of the overly warm tent into the cool, rainy, outdoors.

The stage was bigger than Lilly would have thought it to be for a show that was constantly on the road. Different men were rushing around, helping move props and equipment. She tried to imagine Steve, moving around the stages and spitting out unrehearsed lines to a crowd of hundreds, but she found it difficult. She knew he felt like nothing more than a puppet at times. Felt like just a means to an end.

The rain was coming down harder now and there was something small in the back of her mind that thought about giving up and instead going to find Peggy instead, but as she rounded the corner, both people in question were right before her. Peggy was standing, leaning against a wooden pole, while Steve was sitting. He was looking up at her sister in the middle of a conversation.

“Steve!” When her voice reached his ears he looked over to her shocked. Lillian ran up to him, moving under the protection of a dingy roof.

“Lillie!” His smile was as wide as he was tall. “Peggy was just telling me you were here too.” As she looked to her sister to smile, she caught sight of a drawing she assumed was Steve’s. There was a monkey dressed in stars and stripes, riding on top of a unicycle. Steve caught her looking and closed the journal quickly. Lillian looked at him, a frown on her face. Why would he want to hide his thoughts now? “I had hoped I would run into you here. Both of you!” He looked back up at Peggy who just rolled her eyes.

“Lying is not a good look on Captain America. You and I both know you were only hoping to see my darling sister. Those letters aren't cutting it for you were they?” Before either of them could interrupt the agent, she continued. “Don’t you worry though. They aren't enough for Lillian either.”

“Margaret!” Lillie gasped, noticing a small smirk playing at the corner of Steve lips. She held a finger up to her sister, about to give her a bit of the notorious Carter temper, when Steve pulled her lifted hand right in front of his face.

“Your hands.” They were chapped from constant washing, but also somehow still dirty. His bright blue eyes were focused on her nails though, where the beds of her nails and her cuticles were still stained and a bit crusted with blood from the men she’d seen in the past 24 hours. She pulled her hand back, wiping both of them on her pants leg. The action did nothing and the stains remained.

“Schmidt sent out a force to Azzano.” Lillie began.

“Two-hundred men went up against him, and less than fifty returned.” Peggy finished for her. “Your audience contained what was left of 107th.” Lillian stared down at her hands, as Peggy finished her talk, thinking of how there was less than that in the audience. Her hands had been wrapping gauze around some of their wounds or been deep in the cavities of their bodies. Sometimes they’d even smoothed their matted hair back from their foreheads as they struggled to live.

“The 107th?!” Before Lillian could ask what Steve jumped up and began running. “Come on!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! It's been a crazy month. I hope you are doing well. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!


	8. Poverty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is constantly surprised by Lillie.

“Steve!” Lillian yelled, trying to catch up with him. “You cannot be serious! You-You-”

“I trained for this?” Steve stopped and whirled around. Lillie put the brakes on, almost slipping in the slick mud. “I was built for this? Created for this? Lillie, you helped create me!” Her slightly panicked face began to soften. “You know I can do this.” The woman took a deep breath and was quiet for a moment. Just as Steve was going to turn around and go back on his mission of collection items, she spoke again.

“Then...Then I am coming with you.” Her jaw was set in determinations.

“What? Lillian! You can’t do that. You're not a soldier. You haven’t trained for this.” Why on God’s green earth did she think coming with him was a good idea? 

“No, but I am familiar with the conditions. I’m a nurse and I know you’re going for Bucky, but I’m going for all of them. There is no telling what wounds they may have, your friend included in that.” 

“But-” Before he could stop her, the brunette reached at his thigh and took his knife from its sheath. “What are you doing?” She brought the sharp blade up to her palm slicing through a small sliver of skin, leaving an incision around two inches long. Blood oozed from the cut. “What the hell, Lillie?”

“Just watch.” Lillian’s voice was commanding and he did as she said. His eyes never moved from her palm. She wiped the blood from her palm on her pants and a second later it stopped bleeding all together and not even a minute later there was no longer an incision. Instead there was soft, pink, tender looking, flesh. 

“Wha-”

“I’m like you Steve...Well, not exactly like you, but similar. Do you really think I would have let Dr. Erskine use the serum on anyone before it had been properly tested?” Steve could only stare at her in bewilderment. “My dose was different from yours, It didn’t go quite as planned.”

“A bad reaction…” He mumbled, recalling the conversation they’d had so long ago. The first time they’d met.

“How do you remember that?” Steve shrugged. “We need to finish up. I’m going to go get a med-kit. You go finish getting what you need. I’ll meet you back here.” Without another word or any more arguing, she left. Steve did as she suggested and finished grabbing what he needed. 

His blood felt like lightning under his veins, making him anxious and jittery. What if they were too late? What if Bucky was now just another person from his past? Steve didn’t know what he’d do without Bucky. That was his brother. Bucky had always been there and the thought of him suddenly not? That terrified him. 

When he had a helmet in one and his shield in the other Steve walked the rendezvous spot. He stood there a moment before he spotted both Peggy and Lillian walking towards him. Lillian was wearing a fresh pair of clothes, still in her army green. There was a satchel on her back that looked filled to the brim with different items. Peggy did not look happy which led him to believe she knew her younger sister's plan.

“Pray tell how you two are planning to get behind the enemy line?” Peggy asked with a tone of disappointment. Lillian looked down at her muddy boots, but Steve held firm.

“I was going to borrow a jeep.” He admitted. Peggy looked at him, head cocked to the side, eyes roaming over his face. A worried look came over Lillian as her sister was silent. 

“I think I might have a better way for you to get in.”

In a blur of events, Steve found himself on a plane, owned by Howard Stark, sitting next to a pale faced Lillian. Her knee was bouncing and she was picking at her cuticles. Steve could have been blind and still would have been able to know how anxious she was at the thought of jumping out of a plane. Peggy was across from them, not a care in the world for the worries of her sister, letting them know about the transponder. In the midst of Howard’s comments on the transponder having had more testing done than Steve,the plan began being accosted from the ground.

“Oh heavens.” Lillie said with a gasp. Steve reached over her, grabbing the chin strap of her helmet and tightening it to her head. Then, while she was paralyzed in fear, he checked to make sure the straps of her parachute were snug. “What are you doing?” 

“We’ve got to go now. Are you still with me, Lil’? The nickname slipped out all on its own, but he did not have time to overanalyze it. Lillian nodded and they both began moving towards the exit.

“We can take you both all the way in!” Peggy yelled as they prepared to jump.

“No!” Steve yelled. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lillie take a deep breath.

“You have to get out of here as soon as we are clear.” The nurse's voice sounded braver than she looked. Steve would have to remember if she was afraid of heights. “Peggy, we have to go now.” 

“You two can’t give me orders!” The older Carter sibling looked like this was not her first go around with her younger sister. 

“The hell I can’t.” Steve yelled over the wind. He looked back at Lillian, fixed his goggles, and braced himself to jump. “I’m a Captain.” 

The next thing Steve knew is that he was falling. His shoulders were tugged back by the force of the air under his chute. The sensation he experienced in his gut was similar to that he would get when riding a roller coaster at Coney Island. Turning his head back and forth he tried to find his newfound partner. When he caught sight of her, a look of awe on her face, he relaxed. The trees beneath them were getting closer and closer. Steve hoped that the brief rundown he and Lillian had learned would be enough to help them avoid the trees and land safely. 

As he floated down, Steve was met with a small panic. What if he was too late? What if he couldn’t save Bucky? What if he couldn’t save any of them? He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but he was afraid he would be a failed experiment. The idea of being a failure was worse, somehow, than being a puppet, a walking talking advertisement for the United States Government. In a way, this was Steve’s first real test. It wasn’t the serum taking. It wasn’t his ability to run after some Nazi, Hydra agent. No, it was his ability to find the enemy, defeat the enemy, and save others while in the process of the first two steps.

His body coming in contact with the ground and gentle ‘oof’ from fifteen yards away pulled him out of his thoughts. It didn’t take much for him to become tangled in his chute and it took a few minutes of struggling before he could reach his knife to cut himself free. 

“Lieutenant, are you afraid of heights?” Steve asked as he cut Lillian away from the ties of her parachute. 

“I don’t know what on earth would give you a reason to think that I was.” She laughed softly, tugging her clothes back into place before reaching into her pocket. When she withdrew it Steve could see the outline of a small compass in her hand. “Alright, Captain, where to?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Hope you are well and I hope that you enjoy this chapter! Please let me know what you think! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! I can't get the thought of this story out of my head, so alas...Here we are! :) Please know that while I want to write a good an entertaining story, I also want to write one that is historically accurate. (Can you tell that I have a history degree yet?) I have been doing all my research for this and will continue to do so. If there is something that you see that needs to be fixed, let me know! Please! Also, if you enjoy this let me know that too! Words of encouragement are my everything.
> 
> Happy reading!


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